


Be Free Like a Butterfly!

by KilledByTheHuntress



Category: Real Person Fiction, Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Eventual relationship, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Loss, lots of friendship - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2018-11-15 00:33:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11219505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KilledByTheHuntress/pseuds/KilledByTheHuntress
Summary: "You know Alayna, moving on doesn't mean you forget about things." He muttered, pushing some of my hair behind my ear and kissing my forehead in a friendly way. "It just means you've accepted what happened and decided to continue living." His voice is sincere yet I can't help but snort at the cheesiness."Did you get that off google?" I question, a laugh finally bubbling from my chest."I might have, but it still fits!" He mentions proudly as he pulls me to him in a bone crushing hug."Okay, Seán... Oxygen... Needed... To breath!"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the persons based on real people in this story, I do however own my OC's.
> 
> Author's note:  
> Hey guys, this is my first Real Person fiction story as well and I'm a little nervous about posting it, hopefully everything turns out okay. Please let me know what you think!
> 
> Any mistakes are mine and mine alone.

I feel someone sit next to me but I don't bother looking up from my phone. A couple minutes later, I feel a nudge on my shoulder and I glance up - barely - to see a flash of green. My lips twitch as I look back at my phone, pretending that I hadn't noticed him. I feel the table shake as someone else joins us but force myself not to look up.

 

My ear bud is pulled out - roughly, might I add - and a whiney voice fills the space my music once did.

 

"Don't ignore me, Ally!" I chuckle and lift my head enough to poke my tongue out at my green haired companion before trying to put the bud back into my ear.

 

I see him move quickly and my phone is wrestled from my hands, my headphones trailing limply after him as he runs away.

 

"Seán!" I growl, glaring at his retreating back as I stand up, debating whether it's worth running after him or not. I hear a laugh and look across the table to see Ethan trying to contain it. "Oh, it's funny. Is it?"

 

He shakes his head, but the quiet chuckles give away his amusement. I turn back to the direction Seán disappeared in to see no sign of him and I sigh, sitting back down across from Ethan with a pout.

 

"Oh, cheer up, Ally. You know he'll be back."

 

"Yes, once he's been through everything he can."

 

Ethan gives me a look as if to say, _'he wouldn't'_ but I shrug.

 

"He's done it before. Do you know how awkward it was between us after he'd read the message thread between me and my ex?" I shudder, remembering the couple weeks Seán couldn't look me in the eye.

 

"Ah, well. He was probably doing it out of the goodness of his heart, making sure his best friend was being treated right."

 

"Yes, well. As much as that would've been appreciated, I doubt he enjoyed some of the things he saw." I feel my cheeks heat up and suddenly Ethan realised what I was talking about.

 

"Dude!" He mentioned in disbelief, "Really? Didn't take you as the type to send pictures."

 

"What can I say? I'm full of surprises. Seán couldn't look me in the eye for weeks." Ethan suddenly gets quiet and I see a weird look pass over his face before I decide to change the subject. "How did you guys realise I was no longer at the convention anyway?"

 

"Jack noticed; I don't know how he figured it out or how he knew you'd be here. But he did." I nod my head, not surprised. It's not the first time this has happened. I watch Ethan lift his head a little more, his eyebrows furrowing as his eyes follow something - or someone. "Did he expect you to chase after him?"

 

"Probably. Why, is he still running?"

 

"Mhmm."

 

"He'll probably tire himself out in a few minutes, either that or he'll realise I never left the table. Leave him to it."

 

A few minutes later, a winded Seán falls down into the seat next to me. I turn my head with a raised eyebrow and hold my hand out towards him expectantly. He drops my phone into my hand and I quickly pocket it along with my headphones.

 

"You... didn't... run?" Seán questions taking deep breaths between each word.

 

"I didn't run."

 

"Spoil... sport."

 

"It took me three times after the age of twenty two to realise it was hopeless trying to catch up to you. You clearly haven't gotten the point that I won't do it anymore."

 

"We'll see." He states confidently now that he's caught his breath. "Why'd you leave?"

 

"How'd you know I was gone?"

 

"I asked first."

 

"So?" He knows exactly why I left.

 

" _Alayna_." He says, stressing my name.

 

" _Seán_." I mimic.

 

"You can't let this get in the way of you doing the things you enjoy."

 

"I'm not, I still play video games. I still go to work, I still read. I'm still doing things I enjoy." From the corner of my eye I see Ethan looking between us, both confused and worried.

 

"You used to love PAX though and yet you're letting it get in the way of that." I stiffen and my mood darkens, I don't want to talk about this and yet Seán always tries to push the subject with me.

 

"I'm not. I never liked PAX; I only went to support _you_ , Seán."

 

"Ally-" He tries to continue but I cut him off, my chair scraping across the floor loudly as I stand from the table and put my coat on.

 

"No, I'm done with this conversation. Go back to PAX and leave me alone." I pick up my coffee and my bag before quickly making my way to the door and leaving, in hopes of shaking off my new-found bad mood.  


* * *

I lay on the hotel room bed, throwing one of Seán's Septic Sam plushies in the air and catching it. I hear a quiet beep and the door unlatch before it opens slightly, getting stuck on the door stop I put behind it.

 

"Oof! Fuck, Ally. Let me in!" I continue to lie on the bed as Seán tries to fight his way in. "Alayna!"

 

"Go away!"

 

"It's a joint hotel room, Ally. I'm meant to be staying here too!" I choose not to say anything in reply and instead, hear Seán pushing on the door, trying to get it open. I hear footsteps out in the hall and a couple new voices question him on what he's doing.

 

"Ally's blocked the door, I can't get in." I hear someone else push against the door with him, yet the door stop still won't move on the laminate floor.

 

"Sorry, Jack." Mark mutters apologetically.

 

"Ah, don't worry about it. I'll catch you later." I hear the footsteps start again before a door down the hall opens and closes. "Ally c'mon," I hear the sound of Seán sliding down the door and sigh to myself, stopping the continuous throwing of Sam. "Look, I'm sorry for pushing you. I'm sorry for being my stubborn self and forcing you out here with me. I just hate to see you locking yourself away."

 

I sit up and throw my legs over the edge of the bed to stand before I quietly make my way over to the door, ensuring that Seán can't hear me.

 

"You're my best friend I just want to help you. I know you wanted some time alone, but it's almost six and we have dinner plans. I missed you. I want to spend some time with all my friends in one room."

 

I press myself against the wall as he continues to talk before squatting down and taking hold of the doorstop and pulling on it. Suddenly the door flies open and Seán topples into the room backwards, hitting his head on the floor. His hands immediately go to his head and he winces before a smile blooms onto his face.

 

"Ouch, jeysus. Warn a guy next time!" I can't help but smile back at him, even as I smack him in the chest.

 

"You're a dick, you know that, right?"

 

"Well yes, but you love me."

 

"Debateable, Seán. Really debateable."

 

"Oh, c'mon! You gotta love your best friend!" I smile at him and roll my eyes, standing up to make my way back to my position on the bed. I pick up Sam once more and continue my little bounce and catch game. I hear the rustling of fabric and assume that Seán has stood up; I'm right considering the door closes a minute later.

 

I look to the clock from the corner of my eye and see that's he's right, we have ten minutes until six but I don't really care. I throw Sam up into the air once more intent on catching him when Seán swipes him on his way down.

 

"Aw, Sam. What's the mean woman doing to you?" I raise my eyebrows at the goofball as he hugs the plushie to his chest. "C'mon, _Alayna_. We've got an hour until we've got to meet everyone." I roll my eyes before turning so that my back is facing him.

 

"I'm not in the mood to socialise with others, _Seán_."

 

"Nope. Nuh-uh, not happening. You're coming whether you like it or not. You said you would yesterday and before we came, so everyone is expecting you!" I feel movement behind me before I feel the mattress underneath me lifting and me hitting the floor.

 

"Seán!"

 

"Hey, you make me fall through the door; I'm dumping you on the floor." I sit up quickly to see him putting the mattress back and fixing the sheets.

 

"Why am I friends with you?"

 

"Because I've known you since you were just a sparkle in your fathers eye."

 

"Oh, jeez. Gross, Seán!"

 

"Suck it up, get ready." He mentions before heading over to his own suitcase, effectively ending the conversation. I sigh and stand up, grabbing my bag and my phone before locking myself in the bathroom.

* * *

I step out of the shower and blow out a breath, rubbing the skin on my wrist. I quickly dry off and apply a small amount of makeup before I pull on the denim dress I'd picked out and buttoning it up. I fix my hair, throwing it in a messy bun and leaving my bangs down. I spray myself with perfume before I pick up my earrings, stepping towards the door and unlocking it.

 

I close my eyes and take a deep breath before opening it; I step out of the room before starting to fix my earrings into their spot.

 

"Why did you guys have to go more fancy this time?"

 

"It's not fancy, Alayna." Seán comments, he's sat on the edge of his bed putting his shoes on. I roll my eyes and sit down on my own bed.

 

"If that's the case, I'll wear my sneakers."

 

"With a dress, really?"

 

"I've done it before." Seán stands up and walks over to me, sitting on the bed next to me.

 

"You're just doing this because I'm making you go out, aren't you?"

 

"Yep."

 

"C'mon, Ally. You've known about this since before we came out here. Put the shoes you brought with you on." I glare at the floor, reaching over to the bedside table to grip my necklace and charm bracelet. I slip the bracelet back in its rightful place on my right wrist before holding out the necklace for Seán.

 

"You know, you do this all the time. What do you do when I'm not around to put this thing on you?"

 

"The only reason I make you do it when we're together is because you bought it for me."

 

"I can't even believe you still have it, didn't I give it to you for your twelfth birthday or something?"

 

"Thirteenth actually." I hear him snort as he finally clasps the necklace and I reach down, pulling out the small pair of black heels I brought from under the bed.

 

"You need me to help you with them too?" He questions, his tone laden with sarcasm.

 

"No thanks, Prince Charming. I'm sure I'll be fine." I drone, buckling them up. When I'm done, I stand up and look at Seán, my left hand finding its way over to fiddle with my bracelet. "Let's get this over with, shall we?"

 

Seán's eyes immediately fall to my fiddling fingers and he smiles at me reassuringly before offering me his arm. I reluctantly take it and he leans over to kiss my head.

 

"There's no need to be nervous, you've hung out with these people a million times." He tells me, leading me to the door.

 

"I know, I just..." I trail off.

 

"I know. You ready?" He questions as he reaches for the door handle. I nod my head and grab my bag from beside the door as he opens it, allowing me to exit first.

* * *

 

I pull at the charms on my bracelet, counting and recounting them. I knew I shouldn’t have come, the fact that I’m not in the mood to socialise really makes me a debbie downer at these events. I sigh quietly and rub my thumb over a certain charm before reaching over to pick up my drink and sipping at it.  

 

Maybe getting really drunk will help me open up? 

 

No, tried that before.  

 

Not a good result.  

 

I look to the top end of the table and see Seán laughing and joking with Mark and Felix and I sigh once more.  

 

Why does he have to be such a stubborn arsehole? 

 

I push my chair back slightly and reach down, hoping to grab my bag and make a quick getaway before the waiter comes over to take our orders, but I’m interrupted by a skinny bright blue ninja as he sits down next to me. 

 

“I know what you’re planning on doing.” He murmurs quietly as if its a conspiracy, “You know he’ll just drag you back here when he realises you’re gone.”  

 

“What makes you think he’ll notice my absence?” I question, looking down at his small threesome at the top of the table. When I turn to look back at Ethan he looks at me in disbelief. 

 

“C’mon, Ally. He may be close with those guys, but you’re his  _best_  friend. He’ll notice within the first five minutes after you’ve pulled a Houdini.” I roll my eyes but yet I can’t help but agree with his logic.  

 

As infuriating as it is.   

 

I drop the handle of my bag and rub my forehead lightly.  

 

“I told him I didn’t want to socialise tonight.” When I look up, I see the sympathetic look in his eyes and I can’t help but glower. It quickly disappears.  

 

“I know how that feels.” He mentions, bumping his shoulder with my own. “But hey! No socialising. That’s fine; we can just sit here in silence. But if you feel the need to talk, I’ll be right here!”  

 

I can’t help my lip turning up slightly at the corner as he points to his chair; I nod my head before picking up a menu and opening it in front of me.  

 

And we do, sit in silence that is. Until the waiter comes around, we all order our food and besides the chatter from everyone at the top of the table, it stays silent for a little more.  

 

I lean back in my seat before turning to face the smurf next to me and opening my mouth to say something, anything.  

 

“Did you know that butterfly wings are actually transparent?” Oh great! What a better time for my inner butterfly nerd to come out! I inwardly groan and my head falls into my hand.

 

"Someone's conversation starters are on fleek." Ethan teases good-naturedly but I feel my cheeks flush anyway. I squirm uncomfortably in my chair and watch Ethan smile reassuringly at me. "I'm kidding, Ally. Tell me how you know this information."

 

I can't help but smile back at him and I once again find myself playing with my bracelet. I situate myself comfortably so that I'm facing Ethan and we begin to discuss the random topic of butterflies until our food arrives.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the persons based on real people in this story, I do however own my OC's.
> 
> Author's Note: So, here's the second Chapter. It's not proof-read so any mistakes found are mine and mine alone. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think!

I step out of the restaurant, taking a seat on the steps to my right. I bring my feet up as far as I can, my elbows resting on my knees and my forehead resting on my knees while my fingertips skim the back of my neck before taking a deep breath, trying to ground myself.

 

I stay there - like that - for a while. I'm not entirely sure how long it is before I hear the sound of Sean's distinctive laugh as everyone shuffles through the door. They walk past me and head down the steps and stop at the bottom, I watch as Ethan passes my bag to Seán, who suddenly stops talking.

 

He stiffens and looks around at the group of people before seemingly realising I'm missing, yet I don't stand. At least Ethan and I weren't exaggerating.

 

He turns to Ethan quickly, his face a picture of concern.

 

"Where is she?" his question is almost a demand as he pushes my bag strap further onto his shoulder. I'm a little surprised I can hear them from the top of the steps.

 

I watch Ethan jerk his head in my direction and Seán's gaze quickly follows, his eyes softening as soon as they fall on me. He quickly leaves the group and jogs up the steps to me and once again, I don't bother to stand.

 

Once he reaches me, he sits on the step next to me, his shoulder bumping mine lightly.

 

"You okay?" I nod my head, not really feeling the need to talk. "The guys are thinking about seeing a movie, you up for it?" I shrug my shoulders, unsure. I feel his shoulder bump mine again and I finally turn to look at him. "You seem like you were having fun talking to Ethan?" It comes across as more of a question and I smirk teasingly.

 

"Jealous?" My voice is quiet but the tone of teasing is still evident. He scoffs and shakes his head.

 

"Nope, not at all. Just nice to see you opening up."

 

"Shut up!"

 

"I'm serious."

 

"So am I." Things go quiet between us for a few minutes as we watch the small group of friends stood at the bottom of the stairwell, it's not long before someone turns towards us.

 

"Jack! Alayna! You coming?" Seán turns to me with a smile, his shoulder bumping against mine once more and I shove him, shifting away from him slightly.

 

"Yeah Alayna, you coming?" I think on it for a few minutes but I don't know if I want to go. Seán stands next to me and I look at him. "C'mon, we'll go see what's there to watch and then you can make your decision."

 

I shake my head and hold my hand out for my bag.

 

"No thanks, I think I'm going to head back to the hotel." I see the slight frown start to form on his face before I stand up. "I'm tired, my social meter is completely depleted, and I'm done. Let me know when you're on your way home." I take my bag from him without him offering it to me and brush the dust from my dress before I reach up and kiss his cheek. "I'll see you back at the hotel." I mention and begin walking away.

 

"Then I'm coming with you." He begins to walk in the same direction as me and I shake my head, holding my hand up to stop him.

 

"No, you go enjoy the movie."

 

"But I don't want you walking back to the hotel alone."

 

"I'm a big girl, Seán. I'll be fine."

 

" _Alayna_!" He stresses.

 

" _Seán_." I mimic.

 

"Look, I'm beat and was planning on heading back to the hotel anyway. I'll walk with her." Ethan chimes in and my shoulders sag in relief. I don't want either of them to miss out but something in Ethan's tone makes me feel like he's telling the truth. I look at Seán but he still seems reluctant.

 

"Seán, I know you want to go see the movie and I just want to relax, maybe read or something. Go, I'll be fine." He finally takes a step back and nods but the reluctance doesn't leave his face. Ethan comes to stand by my side and Felix comes up to our small group, taking a hold of Seán arm.

 

"C'mon, Jack. We need to go if we're going to catch the movie." Felix starts pulling on his arm and I see Seán's feet start moving. I smile reassuringly at him before turning around and beginning my walk back to the hotel with Ethan.

 

* * *

 

It doesn't take us long to get back to the hotel, barely fifteen minutes but still, I can _not_ wait to take these heels off. We both make our way across the lobby and stop at the elevator. I shoulder my bag and lean down, unbuckling the straps on my shoes and slipping them off quickly while we wait for it to appear.

 

I straighten up, my shoes now in my hand to see Ethan smirking at me.

 

"What?" I question, the doors to the elevator opens and I step inside, Ethan following behind me.

 

"Nothing." He murmurs and I raise my eyebrows at him, he chuckles quietly before continuing. "Couldn't wait, could you?" His tone is teasing, his eyes showing the complete playfulness of his words and I can't help but smile back at him.

 

"One day I'll get you in heels, and we'll see how long you last."

 

"Challenge accepted." I grin at him and the elevator dings, landing on our floor. Ethan motions for me to step out first and I do, heading down the hallway to my door. I set my shoes down on the floor and pull my bag off of my shoulder, rooting inside it for my key card.

 

Once I have it, I grin before re-shouldering my bag and sliding it into the lock. "Hey, Ally?" I hum in acknowledgement as I bend down to pick up my shoes. Once I'm straightened up again, I look to my right and at my companion. "I know you probably won't take me up on the offer. But even when you don't feel like socialising, company is needed. If you get lonely, don't hesitate to stop by my room, alright?"

 

The corners of my lips turn up slowly into a soft smile, grateful for the offer.

 

"Thank you, Ethan. I'll keep that in mind." He grins at me, mentioning his room number, his hand coming up to run through his hair while the other finds purchase in his pocket. I lean over and hug him before stepping back towards my door.

 

"Goodnight, Alayna."

 

"Goodnight, Ethan."

 

* * *

 

I pull the clips from my hair, letting it fall down around my shoulders. I take a deep breath, feeling better now that I'm in a pair of lounge shorts and a tank top. I muss my hair up before exiting the bathroom, making a bee-line for Seán's laptop. I switch it on before getting comfortable on my bed, ready to relax and watch some TV shows.

 

The log on screen appears and I click on his handle... Only to find that I need a password. I frown, that's not like Seán.

 

I think on it for a few minutes before trying out a few of the things I know he'd use for a password, to no success. After about five attempts, a hint appears underneath the password bar and I glare at the words.

_'Nice Try, Alayna. Get the fuck off my laptop!'_

I slam the laptop closed, frustrated. I put it back on Seán's bed before laying back in mine. The fact that Seán has his laptop password protected now bugs me, the last time he'd done that was because he was hiding something. My mind wanders and I get more anxious, my fingers find their way to my charm bracelet quickly.

 

I fidget uncomfortably and stand up. I need to keep my mind occupied; I need to get out of this room. I suddenly remember Ethan's offer and smile, picking up one of Seán's zip up hoodies to cover the fact I'm braless. I wrap it around me tightly and shove my room key into the pocket before heading out into the hallway bare foot.

 

I stop at a door two down from mine and knock quietly, taking a deep breath while waiting for it to open in hopes of clearing my mind slightly.

 

"Just a minute!" I hear Ethan call from the other side followed by some fumbling about. A few minutes later, the door swings open to reveal a shirtless Ethan, clad in only a pair of black sweatpants. He smiles at me and opens the door wider, silently inviting me in.

 

I head inside and sit on the end of the bed in the middle of the room, he shakes his head at me but the smile is still there. "Make yourself at home, I don't mind." I shimmy up the bed and press against the pillows, sighing quietly. "Needed the company?" He questions.

 

"The voices in my head were driving me crazy." I agree and he chuckles, heading over to his laptop continuing to connect it to the TV apparently.

 

"You wanna watch a movie?" I think on it for a minute and shake my head.

 

"I'm not really the movie type." I mention and he nods understandingly, finishing his mission to connect his laptop and the TV. I watch him minimise a few programmes on the screen before he opens up Netflix.

 

"So how about a TV show?"

 

"Can we watch Family Guy?" I question, in the mood for a something stupid that I won't need to pay much attention too. He nods his head and quickly searches for it and pulling the episode options from the screen.

 

"Any particular episode?" I shake my head and he scrolls up and down a few times before clicking a random episode. The opening credits ring out and Ethan full screens it before coming over and getting situated next to me on the bed.

 

It doesn't take me long to recognise it as the one where Brian breaks time and everything starts going in reverse. We both watch it in silence, Ethan now and then picking up his phone and scrolling through what looks to be Twitter.

 

Once the episode finishes I feel another shiver fall down my spine and I rub my legs in an attempt to warm them. Ethan smiles at me and pulls the covers from under me before throwing them over me. I smile my thanks and snuggle further under the blankets.

 

Somewhere through the next episode I shuck off Seán's hoodie, throwing it to rest on one of the chairs and getting comfortable. It's nice, just spending a quiet evening inside watching mindless TV with a friend. I cover my mouth and yawn, pulling the pillows beneath my head into a more comfortable position.

 

Somewhere during the third episode, Ethan slides down beneath the covers next to me and we smile at each other. During the fourth episode, my eyes start drooping and part of my mind quietly registers that I should probably make my way back to my own room, but I don't entertain it for long. Instead choosing to let sleep wash over me.

 

* * *

 

Why can I hear banging? I groan quietly and pull the pillow over my head in order to muffle it but it barely helps. My tired mind registers something resting across my waist but I'm too tired to care, until it moves.

 

Slowly the thing is removed from my waist and the bed shifts before a muffled and sleepy sounding, "Go away!" is yelled from my side. The banging stops and I yawn, pulling the pillow off of my head; I sit up and look to my right seeing a shock of blue hair against the pillow and last night comes back to me.

 

The banging suddenly stops and I look to the clock on Ethan's laptop screen. Who the fuck is banging on the door at almost three in the morning. I feel cool air on my chest and look down noticing that my tank top has fallen down. The door is unexpectedly thrown open and I quickly pull my top back in place before seeing Seán barging into the room.

 

"Ethan, you blue fuck! Where is she?"

 

Mark is next into the room, and I self-consciously pull the quilt up to cover myself. Seán doesn't seem to realise that I'm here, instead his gaze is aimed at Ethan and, oh boy. If looks could kill.

 

Poor Ethan.

 

Mark's eyes move from Seán to Ethan and finally move to rest on me and he quickly steps towards Seán, tapping him on the shoulder. Ethan at this point has sat up, pressing himself against the headboard of the bed, looking both confused and terrified.

 

Poor Ethan.

 

"Jack, buddy-"

 

"Not now Mark!" He seemingly growls and he shrugs off Mark's hand.

 

"But Jack-"

 

"Not now!" he yells, he steps towards Ethan, his hands moving to grip his shoulders. "Where is she?"

 

"I'm by here!" I yell, finally getting my brain and my voice to work together properly. I quickly push Seán off of Ethan, crawling over the latter to stand between him and the angry green haired man.

 

"Alayna Lillian Walsh, the fuck do you think you're playing at?"

 

"Seán William McLoughlin, what is your problem?" I mimic his use of my full name in warning.

 

"It's almost three A.M!" he cries, hands flying around us both. "Why are you not in our room? I was worried sick when I got back and couldn't find you, not to mention when I tried calling you. Only to see your phone was still on your bed."

 

"Can't a girl fall asleep spending time with a friend?"

 

"Can't a girl remember to take her phone or leave a note?"

 

"Once again, I'm a big girl _Jack_." I tell him, putting emphasis on the name.

 

"Why're you changing names on me?" He's acting dumb. He should know by now that I only use 'Jack' when he's really annoyed me.

 

"Because you've royally pissed me off, that's why."

 

"Well what happened to coming back to the hotel because you were tired? How'd you end up here?"

 

"Well, _someone's_ laptop was password protected. Why is that by the way?" I watch Seán straighten, his body tensing at the mention of his laptop although the glare in his eyes is still directed at me.

 

I match it with my own though.

 

Without warning, Mark jumps in between us, a hand pressed on each of our chests. My eyes quickly fall down onto their placement and Mark blushes as he realises, quickly moving the one seemingly holding me back as he clears his throat.

 

"Look, guys. Calm down, it's been a long night." My eyes move back to Seán before heading to Mark, the anger in my body seeping away just as quickly as it came. "Jack, you said yourself you're tired and I think you both need some time to cool off. So how about you head back to your room and Alayna stays here with Ethan for the night." He suddenly peers around me, looking at said owner of the room.

 

"That okay with you? Or should I talk to Amy about a room switch?"

 

"No, she can stay here if she wants." Ethan quickly agrees, seeming more interested in ending the confrontation happening in his room.

 

"Right then, it's settled. Jack, you're leaving now. Alayna, you're staying here. You two can talk in the morning.... With a mediator."  He seemingly adds that last part after thinking his words over and I nod in agreement. Suddenly remembering that my chest is exposed, I cross my arms defensively. Mark takes hold of Seán's shoulders, turning him back towards the door and pushing him through it.

 

"Oh, by the way Ethan. Sorry about letting him in here, it was either that or you paying for a new hotel door."

 

"Not a problem, Mark." He agrees but he doesn't sound very sure. "I'll be sure to let an angry Antisepticeye into your room next time." he mutters, trying to make a joke but I'm the only one who hears it.

 

I drop my chin to my chest and I can't help smiling at the disappointing joke. I take a few deep breaths and once I'm sure the anger has gone completely I turn to Ethan.

 

"I'm sorry about almost getting you killed."

 

"Its fine, I like to live life on the edge." He mentions sarcastically and it's my turn to shove him.

 

"Also, I kinda climbed over you there. Sorry about that too,"

 

"Well, you stopped me from getting killed so I think I can live with you pretending I'm part of the bed." He waves off my worries and I smile at him.

 

"You sure you're okay with me staying here tonight?"

 

"I wouldn't have said yes if I wasn't."

 

"Well yeah, but-"

 

"Alayna, its fine, I promise. Now come on, it's almost three thirty and I would like to get some more sleep." He cuts me off and I can't help but agree. I slip around the bottom of the bed this time, pausing at his laptop to press 'continue watching' on Netflix.

 

Another episode of the animated series starts and I slip back under the quilt. I get into a comfortable position to sleep in but also be able to see the screen. I hear a yawn pass Ethan's lips and it's quickly passed onto me.

 

I feel the bed shift and realise that Ethan's getting comfortable once more.

 

"Oh and Alayna?"

 

"Yes, Ethan?"

 

"Sorry for spooning you earlier."

 

I snort unattractively and look at him from my side of the bed, his blue hair falling into his eyes.

 

"S'all good, man. Stuff happens when you're asleep. But try to keep your arms to yourself this time." I grin at him and I watch his cheeks heat up before turning to back to the TV and watching the characters celebrate Valentine's Day.

 

* * *

 

I blink my eyes open and look around the room, my tired brain making me slightly confused at the difference of furnishings. Also, that wall is a little further away then it should be. I sit up slowly, pushing the covers off of me quickly in hopes of cooling myself down.

 

Thick duvet + sunlight streaming through the windows = A very hot Alayna.

 

I look to my right only to see the rest of an empty but sleep-mussed double bed and I blink at it dumbfounded. It takes a couple more minutes of waking up before I realise that I'm not in mine and Seán's hotel room but Ethan's.

 

It's not long until I've cooled down enough, maybe fifteen minutes but the door to the room opens unexpectedly and in walks Ethan, fully dressed and whistling happily to himself while holding a tray with two to go cups from Starbucks.

 

"Please tell me one of those are for me." I plead with him jokingly but he smiles at me instead, plucking one from the tray and handing it over to me.

 

"Good morning, sleepy head. I didn't know if you took any sugar or not so it's a just a simple cappuccino."

 

"Oh god, you're a life saver." My voice is groggy still with sleep and I take a sip of the coffee anyway before pulling a face. I feel several small things hit me in the leg, I look down finding packets of sugar and I smile gratefully at my friend. He sits down on the bed next to me, sipping at his own coffee.

 

"So, how're you feeling?" he questions and I shrug, the coffee finally helping me wake up.

 

"Is Seán at PAX?" I'm avoiding the question as I squint at Ethan's phone just making out the time, mid-morning.

 

"He did knock earlier to mention he had to go for a panel or something. But he'll be around later to talk." I nod my head, part of me grateful that I can postpone that. 

 

Once I finish my coffee, I stand up from the bed, discarding the cup in the trash quickly before pulling Seán's hoodie on once more.

 

"Thanks, Ethan. For the coffee and letting me crash here." He waves me off with a slight headshake and a smile.

 

"Don't worry about it, what are friends for?" I return his smile, stretching out my back before heading over to the door.

 

"I owe you one, anyway. I'll catch you later, alright?" He nods his head, watching me as I quickly open the door and slip out of the room, heading back to my own.


	3. Chapter 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:
> 
> I do not own any of the persons based on real people within this story. I do, however, own my OC's.
> 
> Author's Note:
> 
> Chapter three has arrived, and once again, it has not been proof-read, so any and all mistakes are mine.

It's late, not extremely late, but late enough for the PAX day to be over with. I check the time on my phone once more,  _9:38_  glaring back at me mockingly. It'll be ten minutes max before Seán gets back to the hotel and realise I'm not there. I shrug; I'm still trying to avoid the conversation that needs to happen.

I silence my phone and pocket it before lying back down to watch the sky. Being in the middle of the city kind of makes it hard to see many stars but watching the dark and cloudy sky is still soothing.

For the first time since the beginning of this trip, I feel completely calm and grounded and I'm going to enjoy it for as long as I can.

Doing this is one of the reasons I miss when Seán still lived in the log cabin, living in the middle of nowhere meant it was easier to just lay in the field behind his house and watch the stars.

It's not long before I feel my phone buzzing in my coat pocket and part of me is tempted to ignore it, another part of me - the responsible part of me - yells at that part of me considering it'll only make this situation worse.

By time the mental war has finished and I manage to slide my phone from my pocket, the buzzing has stopped, leaving a missed call message in its place. I sigh at myself in frustration and unlock my phone, adamant to call him back when suddenly the screen lights up again, a picture of Seán and I in high school appearing.

I can't help but smile at the picture but then I remember why it's on the screen and I slide answer quickly, pressing the phone to my ear.

_"Alayna?"_

"Seán?" I can already sense he wants to question where I am but he's trying not too.

_"Are you okay?"_

"Mhmm."

_"I thought you'd be at the hotel."_  Subtle, Seán. Not quite what I was expecting but it's definitely a silent 'where are you?'

"I needed to get out, air does good sometimes."

_"It's dark out."_

"Someone's observant today." I can't help the sarcasm that takes over my tone and I bite my tongue, mentally berating myself.

To my surprise, he laughs.

_"Okay, so where are you?"_

"Boston Common," I trail off, looking around at the area I'm laying in. "Currently laying in a patch of grass close to the bandstand."

_"Laying?"_ He tries to hide it but I can hear the concern in his voice.

"I'm watching the sky." I don't feel the need to say anymore and Seán doesn't need to hear anymore.

_"We still need to talk."_

"I know."

_"You coming back anytime soon?"_

"Not planning on it."

_"Fine, then we'll come to you."_  I hum in acknowledgement and neither of us say goodbye before hanging up the phone. I take a picture of the sky although the camera on my phone isn't very good and I post it to instagram with the hash tag, 'grounding'.

Ethan's the first to like it and I smile as I lock my phone, sliding it back into my pocket and going back to watching the sky.

* * *

"Ally?" I tilt my head back, looking around for Seán. I spot him as he makes his way around the bandstand but I'm too lazy to actually sit up. He finds me quickly - although it's not that hard, there's not many around here right now - and makes his way over, sitting next to me on the grass.

Amy and Mark wander around the bandstand hand in hand but instead of coming over to us, they head over and sit on one of the benches. I thought Mark mentioned something about being mediator. I look to Seán questioningly.

"Amy told Mark on the way over here that even though the conversation was heated last night, it's less likely to be today. So he doesn't really need to be breathing down our necks during this conversation."

"Well, she's not wrong."

"No, she isn't." Things go quiet between us then and I go back to looking at the sky from my lying position, I don't feel like I should be the one to start this conversation considering I wasn't the one who got angry.

Seán lies down next to me after a few minutes of silence but neither of us go about breaking it.

"You're meant to be talking!" I tilt my head back once more and glare at Mark who's sitting back in his seat again, I watch Amy roll her eyes, hitting him on the shoulder before shushing him.

Seán laughs next to me and I turn my head to face him this time.

"What's your problem with Ethan?" The question is out of my mouth before I have time to think about it and immediately Seán's laughter stops.

"I don't know what you're talking about; I don't have a problem with Ethan." He won't look at me though and I can't help but roll my eyes.

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"It's not, I like Ethan. He's a good friend, you know this!"

"Alright then, if you don't have a problem with Ethan," I tell him, finally deciding it's time to sit up, him following suit. "Then what do you have against the friendship I have with him?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on Seán. It's obvious; since I met Ethan a while back you always get a little funny with me when I'm around him."

"I do not!"

"Sure you do, you always seem to be jealous of him and I. Last night at dinner being a prime example; you may try to play off being jealous Seán but it's clear that you are." I shift, slightly uncomfortable with the direction this conversation is taking. I hate fighting with him. "Are you scared that my friendship with Ethan is going to threaten ours?"

"No! Of course not, I don't have a problem with Ethan and I definitely don't have a problem with you two being friends. In fact, I encourage it."

I glare at him and can't help but tug lightly at my bracelet. I can tell by the look in his eyes, that's all I'm getting from him on the subject of this so I decide to change tactics.

"Why don't you like leaving me by myself?"

"What?" He's genuinely startled by my change in topics but this has been bugging me for a while now - since it was brought to my attention a couple months ago - and I need to know.

"You never like leaving me alone. Even at home, you hate leaving me at my apartment alone. You're constantly checking up on me, you always try to ensure we're together when we can be, and let's not fall back into the time you asked me to move in with you. You won't let me walk anywhere by myself if you can help it and when you expect me somewhere and I'm not there, you go crazy until you know where I am. The way you acted in Ethan's room last night being a great example of what I'm talking about." I begin to fidget, I can't even look at him properly right now but I feel his gaze in the side of my head. "Why is it that you don't want me to ever have time alone?"

It's quiet for a while and I can tell he's trying to choose his words carefully. I'm scared of the answer and by the look of things; I'm not going to like what it is either.

"You're right," he begins and now neither of us can make eye contact with each other. "Completely, I don't like you being on your own for several reasons... You're my best friend for one, I worry about you..." He trails off and I watch from the corner of my eye as he begins to drum his fingers on his knees.

_No._

_Don't bring it up, please._

"And after a few years ago that's to be expected-"

_He did._

_He's brought it up._

"No." I cut him off quickly before he can say anything else.

"What?"

"Don't talk about it. We agreed we wouldn't talk about that anymore."

"Ally-"

"No!" I cut him off again, this time with more force behind the single word. I stand up quickly and brush off my clothes. "I don't care Seán, we've been over..." I choke on the words. "We've been over the whole ordeal, I can't keep revisiting it."

He's quick up on his feet and I turn away, determined to run away from this whole conversation. I knew the past was going to find a way into it. I see movement from the corner of my eye and Mark and Amy quickly stand to make their way over to us, concern on their faces.

I take the momentary distraction and take off, running in a random direction. Away from Seán, away from this conversation and away from the past.

"Alayna!" Seán yells after me but I don't stop. I feel nauseous and I realise that I'm crying.

I run through the park, subconsciously following the path and I'm almost there, almost at the street when I'm suddenly stopped and grabbed from behind.

I'm lifted into the air and turned around, I cry out, partly in surprise, partly in fear. My feet hit the floor and I turn round quickly to find Seán, I hit my balled up fist on his chest.

"Don't do that! Just don't!" I yell at him, not even talking about him grabbing me. He grabs my wrist and pulls me to him quickly; wrapping his arms around me tightly and I can't help as I sink into him, sobbing into his chest.

"Shh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, and I shouldn't have brought it up." I feel him press a kiss to my head and pull me closer, crushing me to his chest.

I hear two sets off footfalls behind me suddenly come to a stop and Seán lifts his head to look at them. A few seconds later and I feel him press another kiss to my head, another 'I'm sorry' leaving his lips before he buries his face into my hair as I continue to cry into his chest.

We stay like that for a while and if I happened to feel a few drops of water against my scalp, I ignore it. For Seán's sake.

* * *

The water beats hot against my back and I sit down in the bath shakily. I don't understand why I feel so cold. I bring my legs up to my chest, curling into a ball.

The need to cry wells up in me again but it's quickly squashed down; I push it to the side in favour of the numbness that washes over me. I rest my forehead against my knees and time slips away from me as I sit underneath the spray.

I'm startled by a knock on the door and I do nothing but start blankly at it.

"Ally?" Seán calls softly.

I can't bring my mouth to work in order to answer him. Fatigue has fallen over me and I don't feel like I can move, my limbs feel like they're made of lead.

"Ally, if you can hear me. Please answer. You've been in there over an hour, I'm worried."

It's then I suddenly realise that the water falling over me is now cold, I'm shivering and yet I still can't bring myself to move. Everything goes quiet on the other side of the door and I rest my forehead back on the top of my knees.

The handle shakes and I look up just in time to Sean burst into a room for the second time in twenty four hours.

"Alayna! It's okay, my eyes are closed!" I watch him, one hand over his eyes and the other fumbling around to try and look for something. He grabs a towel of the railing and brings it over to the tub. He peers through his hands to find the tap and turn it off but closes them straight after and throwing the towel over my back.

My teeth are chattering and finally Sean opens his eyes, widening when they see me.

"Jesus Christ, Ally. Your lips are blue!" A quiet whimper leaves my lips as a violent shiver falls down my spine. He reaches over to the rails and grabs the other towel, wrapping that around me too. "Okay, I'm going to close my eyes again and help you up."

His hands grip my biceps before he closes his eyes but then he proceeds to quickly lift me into a standing position, somehow the shivering seems worse now that I'm no longer curled into the foetal position.

The towels begin to slip off of me and my motor skills seem to kick into action, catching them quickly and wrapping it around myself to hide my bare skin.

"You covered?" I nod my head before realising that he can't see me but my vocal cords are still AWOL when I try to speak. So instead I choose to just press my shivering body against his chest, the contrast in heat between me and him causing another violent shiver to hit me.

His arms quickly wrap around me, hands rubbing my back as he tries to warm me up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> This chapter ended up being a little shorter than I'd have liked. But this felt like a natural ending spot.
> 
> As always, let me know what you thought about it please.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:
> 
> I do not own any of the persons based on real people within this story. I do, however, own my OC's.
> 
> Author's Note:
> 
> Here it is! Chapter 4! And once again, it hasn't been proof-read so any mistakes within it are mine and mine alone.

I sip at the hot liquid from the mug in my hands and sigh quietly, watching - but not paying attention to - whatever Seán put on the TV. I feel something heavy being draped over my shoulders and look up to my right to find the aforementioned person.    
   
"Don't you think you're overdoing it, just a little?" I question, my voice having returned about ten minutes ago. I watch as he shrugs his shoulders, perching himself on the very edge of his own bed.    
   
"You can never be too careful."   
   
"Yes, but while you keep piling jackets and blankets over me because you're worried about hypothermia, it'll likely lead to me developing heat stroke instead."   
   
"Shut up!" I shrug my shoulders and turn away from him and back to the television.    
   
It's quiet for a while and I relish in it - while I can - using it to try and ground myself. It's not long before Seán stands up and presses a kiss to the top of my head before heading into the bathroom.    
   
I shake out of the two duvets that he wrapped around me, starting to feel a little too hot. I take another sip of my hot chocolate though, it's not often that Seán makes them his way, but when he does, I try to savour them as much as I can.   
   
Seán's phone vibrates from his bed and I glance at it and then towards the bathroom door, I debate telling him or waiting until he's finished. I decide to wait; instead I take hold of the TV remote and look for something else to watch as I finish the drink.   
   
When it vibrates again however, I jump up and grab the device, briefly catching the name of the thing causing it to vibrate.    
   
'Surprise...'  I only caught the first word, but why is something under the name 'Surprise'. What is he up too?   
   
I take the phone over to the bathroom door and knock twice, yet don't get an answer.    
   
The phone buzzes in my hand once more but I don't really spare more than a glance at the device. I look back to the door and knock harder, this time I do gain an answer.   
   
"Yeah?!"   
   
"Your phone is going off!"   
   
"Who's it from?" I look to the screen and press the home button and while the message is locked so that I can't read it, I am able to get the second word.    
   
As imaginative as it is.    
   
"'Surprise, shhh!'" I call back at him, my eyebrows furrowing. I hear something in the bathroom drop and the door is suddenly opened. The phone plucked out of my hand before I have chance to try and input his pass code.    
   
"Thank you!" He looks at the screen and inputs his pass code, a smile appearing on his face as he reads the text. He moves to reply before seemingly remembering I'm there and looking up at me. "You should get back under those blankets." Is all he says before stepping back and closing the bathroom door in my face.    
   
I stare at the door with a frown, a little annoyed to know that he is definitely hiding something from me. I turn and look back at the bed I was sat on earlier with a glare, I wrap the jacket I'm wearing around me tighter and slide on my shoes before leaving the room.   
   
I wander down the hallway and knock on Ethan's door before turning my back to it while I wait. It swings open a couple minutes later and I turn to see Ethan holding a towel closed around his waist.    
   
My hands fly up to my eyes, "Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" I turn back around quickly and try to walk away, "I'll leave!" I feel him take hold of my wrist and pull me to a stop, I turn to face him but keep my eyes covered.    
   
"No, it's fine. Come in, I'll throw on some clothes quickly."   
   
"You sure?"    
   
"Yeah, is everything okay?" I shrug my shoulders and take a step towards him.    
   
"I don't know, Seán's hiding something from me and I don't like it." I see him stiffen slightly before he resumes his relaxed posture. "You know about it, don't you?"   
   
"No, of course not!" He denies but his voice changes slightly and gives away his lie.    
   
"Seriously, he knows I don't like surprises! What are you all planning?"   
   
"I really can't say. I'm sorry, Alayna." He does look guilty but with my mood I don't really care at the moment.   
   
"It all just pisses me off, but you know what? Forget it." I turn on my heel quickly and begin walking towards the elevator at the end of the hall. "I'll catch you later."  

 

* * *

   
I find myself by the waterfront; it's not even that far of a walk from the hotel, barely ten minutes. I lean on the railing and look out at the water, the reflection of the lights from the buildings strangely beautiful.    
   
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I sigh, pulling it out and expecting it to be Seán, but it isn't.    
   
Maybe he hasn't realised I'm no longer at the room yet.   
   
I answer the call and hear yelling coming from the other end and I relax a little, a small grin appearing on my face.    
   
"Braeden?" I question and my brother's familiar voice flows through the phone.    
   
"Alayna! How's America?"   
   
"It's America; it's hot and crowded and I kind of wished I hadn't been dragged out here to be quite honest."   
  
"What do you mean? What's wrong?" I contemplate his words for a few seconds, trying to decide what I should tell him and exactly how much. "Alayna, is everything okay out there?"  
  
"I don't know, I'm not in a good headspace and it seems that since we've gotten out here, all Seán and I have done is argue."  
  
"Argue about what?"  
  
"Well, the first was more of me being annoyed at him because I left PAX early and he told me I was letting things get in the way of the stuff I enjoy... The second was because he was yelling at Ethan about me being missing yet I was right there... The third was because I asked him why he wouldn't let me have time alone anymore and he almost brought up..." I trail off, not really wanting to say it out loud. I hear my brother sigh on the other end of the phone and I can almost see him holding his head in his hands.   
  
"Okay, the first one, he may actually be right about but don't get upset with me. You do let this thing stop you from doing things from time to time but I also know you're not big on crowded events so I know it's not the reason you left PAX early." I nod my head in acknowledgement, I may not like to admit it, but part of me knows he's right. I realise he can't see me though so instead I hum, letting him know I'm still listening.   
  
"Secondly, why did he think you were missing?"  
  
"Because he thought I was back at the hotel room while he went to watch a movie with the others but I went to hang out with another friend and fell asleep."  
  
"Well, okay. Partly your fault, partly not. Not your fault you fell asleep and he shouldn't have been yelling at the other guy. But you should've let him know somehow."   
  
"Well of course I should've let him know, but like, I didn't know I was going to be staying that long. I've already kicked myself for that one, a few times."   
  
"And lastly, I understand his weariness to leave you on your own, I get the same as does mum and dad, but he could be a little bit less obvious. It has annoyed me in the past because it's been so long since... yanno, he should trust you a little more now." I can't help the sigh of frustration I release and Braeden sighs exaggeratedly back.   
  
"That's not all though, is it? There's something else bugging you." I let out a small noise of disbelief.   
  
"You're nowhere near me, we're on the phone and you can't see me. How the hell do you know that!?"  
  
"Call it brotherly instinct, now spill."  
  
"Seán's hiding something from me." It sounds pathetic when I say it out loud, but I have my reasons for being upset. The line goes quiet for a few minutes and I frown. "You know about it too, don't you?"  
  
"I want to say no, but we both know I'd be lying." I hang my head in frustration but don't say anything else. It's quiet for a little bit, the only sound being the muffled shouting on Braeden's line and the sound of traffic behind me.   
  
"I'm just going to leave it alone, let him hide what he wants to hide. I just want to be home and in my own bed." I feel defeated; I want to be back in my own, tiny studio apartment, surrounded by familiarity and the comfort it brings.   
  
"Well that won't be long now, will it?"  
  
"Not really, today was the third day. If I'm right, we should be flying back Tuesday, I think."  
  
"Well think of it that way, it's late Sunday. You have to deal through tomorrow but you'll be flying back to rainy Ireland soon enough."  
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right." I sigh, straightening myself up. I turn my back to the view on the water and face the street.   
  
"What was that? I'm right? I thought I'd never see the day that Alayna would ever say that."  
  
"Oh, fuck off, Brady!" I quickly hang up the call at the sound of his laughter, rolling my eyes but I can't help it as a small smile pulls at my lips. The phone in my hand starts buzzing once more and I answer it without looking, expecting it to be my brother once more. "What part of fuck off didn't you get, Braeden?" I say teasingly.  
  
"Probably all of it, knowing your brother." I can't help the ugly snort I let out at Seán's words, he's completely right.  
  
"And how can I have the pleasure of helping you, this evening?"   
  
"Ethan said you stormed off, you okay?" I think back at what caused my bad mood earlier before burying it to the back of my mind to be forgotten.   
  
"Everything's peachy, was just about to start heading back to the hotel now."  
  
"Are you sure you're okay?"   
  
"Mhmm, I'll talk to you when I get back to the room. You may want to leave the door on the latch for me though-"  
  
"I know, I saw you left without your key card again. What am I going to do with you?"  
  
"Love me, flaws and all?" I mention, trying my hardest to leave an innocent lilt to my words.  
  
"I guess so.... Stay safe on your walk back."  
  
"I will, don't worry."  


* * *

  
I take my time walking back, enjoying the time alone even though the streets around me are bustling. The walk back is over way to soon and I reach the steps leading to the hotel doors, it barely takes five minutes to get into and through the lobby and into the elevator.   
  
I probably should've messaged Seán to tell him I'm at the hotel because as I get back to the room, the door is closed.   
  
I knock once. Then twice. It takes a third knock before the door is opened and I'm presented with a dripping wet Seán wrapped in a bath robe.  
  
"Shit, sorry. I thought I'd left it open." I smile at him and brush past with a shrug of my shoulders.   
  
"No biggie, it's fine." I move further into the room before collapsing onto my bed and sighing.   
  
One positive about being all the way out here?  
  
This bed is so comfortable.  
  
"You're okay?" He questions and I nod against the covers as I squirm my way out of my jacket and shoes. "You seem more... content?" His words come out as a slight question and I turn my head to smile at him.   
  
"Phone calls from home can work wonders to a girl's level of contentment."   
  
"Brady?"   
  
"Brady." My smile widens and he smiles back at me as he comes to sit on the edge of the bed. I shove him lightly and laugh, "Get off my bed, you'll get it wet!" He laughs and flops himself into a laying position, his wet hair on my pillow.   
  
"I don't know what you're talking about, deary." I laugh at him as I pull another pillow from the set on the bed before smacking him with it. His own laugh is returned as he tries to take hold of the pillow I'm using to attack him but I'm moving too fast for him to get a good grip. "Alright, you asked for it!"  
  
That's the last thing I hear before he tackles me awkwardly, I lean backwards in an attempt to get away from him and we both topple from the bed laughing. His hands fly to my waist and I squeal as he begins to tickle me.   
  
"Seán, no!" I drop the pillow that was still in my hands and try to push him and his demon hands away from me but he's sneaky. As I push one away, his other hand find an extra sensitive spot and I can't help but curl into myself. "Okay, mercy! Please, mercy!" I shout between giggles.  
  
Immediately he stops and pushes himself up as I try to gain my breath, he fixes his robe and holds his hand out to me. I take it and he pulls me up off of the floor, we both stand there grinning at each other for a few minutes before he seemingly remembers he's only wearing a robe.   
  
"I'm gunna go get into some clothes." I nod my head and watch as he lets go of my hand and turns away, gathering some clothes.   
  
Suddenly I feel cold and I can't help it as my smile fades as he disappears into the bathroom.  
  
I shake my head and try not to dwell on the feeling, instead pushing it to the back of my head in order to be forgotten like my problem from earlier. I turn back to my bed and fix the pillows before realising I was right and both the pillows and duvet are damp thanks to my room companion.   
  
"You're a jackass, you got my bed wet!" I shout towards the bathroom and he just laughs in reply. "You keep laughing because you're the one sleeping in it tonight; I'm taking your bed!" His laughter trails off and I shuck off my pants as I get under the covers of his bed.   
  
The faint smell of his cologne lingers on the sheets and as I breathe it in, the cold feeling seems to disappear faster. I frown into the duvet as I pull it up to my nose. It's a good thing I like to sleep like this or Seán could get suspicious. The bathroom door opens behind me and I hear Seán chuckle quietly before moving some things around.   
  
He switches the TV on low before he switches out the light and it's not long after this that I begin to drift off to sleep and yet I ignore the fact that the smell surrounding me was a big help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Again, this is another chapter which I find is shorter than I'd have liked it to be, but I'm losing motivation surrounding PAX and I've run out of ideas so I want to move on with the story.
> 
> As always, let me know what you thought about it please.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:   
> I do not own any of the persons based on real people within this story. I do, however, own my OC's.
> 
> Author's Note:  
> Sorry it's been so long, life has been kicking my ass. But here's chapter 5, I hope you like it!  
> Any and all mistakes are mine, and mine alone.

**Chapter 5.**

The doors slide open in front of me and I can't help but take a deep breath at the familiar Irish air.

"Irish weather never disappoints, does it?" Seán mutters motioning to the rain. I smile at him and pull my suitcase to a stop behind me, the sight of the rain immediately relaxing me.

"Nope, not at all." I leave my suitcase next to Seán and step out from under the shelter, into the rain and twirl.

"Alayna! You're going to get yourself sick!" Seán exclaims, reaching out and pulling me back under the shelter. He quickly slips his coat over my shoulders before pushing my wet hair off of my face. I pout at him but slide my arms through the sleeves anyway.

"I don't care, Seán." I whine playfully and I see his lips twitching up at the corners as he pulls the hood up over my head.

"I'm sure you will when you're laid up in bed battling the flu."

"You're being over-dramatic." I pout at him again.

"Maybe, but I don't care. You're brother'll be here any minute to pick us up and I doubt he'll appreciate the wet seats."

I sigh in mock frustration and roll my eyes, as much as I won't admit it, I do feel surprisingly comforted wearing his coat. A car horn blares next to us and I jump, falling into Seán as he laughs. The passenger window rolls down and I hear the familiar sound of my brother's laugh.

"I finally did it; I finally managed to scare you!"

"Oh, fuck off Braeden!" I say bitingly. The sound of the rain getting louder as it falls heavier. Seán opens the back door before taking my suitcase from me, I hear a faint  _'Get in'_ over the rain as he disappears to the back of the car. I step towards the door and grin, dragging my hand over the roof of the car before sliding into the seat. I watch my brother for a minute, ensuring that he's not watching me before reaching forward and letting the water on my hands drip onto the back of his neck.

"Holy shit!" He cries out, jumping him his seat and reaching up to wipe at his neck. I start laughing hard as my door closes and the passenger one opens, Seán jumping in out of the rain.

"What? What'd I miss?" Seán asks, I'm still giggling quietly to myself so Braeden takes it upon himself to answer. A few minutes of silence follows as Braeden navigates his way out of the airport and onto the motorway before he looks at me in the rear view mirror.

"Please tell me that you took your tablets." I glare at him through the mirror and nod my head, I open my mouth to reply aloud but Seán beats me to it.

"She did, I made sure of it." I wrinkle my nose and pull my sleeves up, showing Braeden the bands wrapped around my wrists in the mirror.

"Don't you worry about your precious car, I've doubled up." I hear Seán chuckle before I remove the wet jacket and lay down in the backseat. I cover my mouth and yawn, the travel sickness tablets always make me drowsy and the jetlag doesn't help the situation much. I reach onto the floor, pulling the small cushion my brother keeps in his car under my head and getting comfortable. "I'm going to sleep, keep the noise down please."

I briefly see Seán nod as he leans forward to play with the radio before I close my eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.

* * *

 I feel someone shaking me and I groan, slapping at them in irritation.

"Alayna, c'mon. We're at your apartment." I slowly open my eyes and sit up to see both Seán and my brother watching me. My head feels cloudy and I can't think, I try to shake my head to rid myself of the feeling but it doesn't budge, not even a little.

That's not good.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and look at it as if I'm checking the time, although it doesn't register so I turn the device off instead before stuffing it back into my pocket.

"C'mon, I'll help you get inside." Seán says, reaching around himself to unbuckle his seatbelt.

"No!" I say a bit harshly and he quickly ceases his movement, choosing instead to stare at me. "I mean... I'm fine. I'll be fine. I don't need any help." I shove the pillow back onto the ground and slide towards the door, opening it. "I just- I need some time alone." I step out of the car and shove it closed, quickly walking towards the boot of the car and making short work of getting my suitcase out.

It's once I've reached up to pull the boot closed that Seán seems to register my words properly and I hear him curse. I slam the boot and grab hold of my suitcase, walking quickly towards the front door of my apartment complex and using the fob to open it. I manage to pull it closed just as Seán reaches it.

"Alayna, don't lock yourself away! C'mon, let me in." I don't say anything, I don't look at him. Not even when he starts knocking on the glass door. I hear Braeden call his name and ask what's going on.

I barely hear Seán's muffled explanation but I chance a glance at the window as I press the call button for the lift, to see my brother pulling Seán back to the car.

"She's not going to do anything stupid, Jack. You need to trust her, now get back in the car and I'll take you home. You can..." The words are muffled and hard to hear the closer they get to the car but I can't help but feel grateful to my brother at this very moment. He looks back towards me before he gets back into the car and I mouth a 'Thanks' to which he nods in response.

The doors to the lift open and I step inside, breathing a sigh at the familiarity as I press the number for my floor.

It doesn't take long to reach my apartment and as soon as I get the door closed behind me I lock it, pulling the chain across for extra measure. I don't know who I'm trying to keep out but it helps me feel better. I shuck off the jacket I was wearing and hang it up before walking through the apartment and closing all the curtains.

Between the fog clouding my brain, the jetlag and the thoughts I keep pushing down I have a migraine forming. I pull off the bands around my wrist and my leggings before sliding under the covers of my bed. I bury my head into the pillow and slap around the mattress, finding a small teddy bare wrapped in blue pyjamas. I press a small kiss to its head and curl up in a ball around him, shutting out the world around me.

* * *

 Knocking, knocking - why is there so much knocking? Don't they know I'm trying to sleep over here? I sluggishly get out of bed and walk over to the door before peeking through the peephole.

I step away from the door and furrow my eyebrows, unsure if I'm ready to face people yet. I decide no and turn on my heel, ready to head back to bed when the person on the other side begins to talk.

"Alayna, open the door. I know you're in there, you walked over the creaky floorboard on your way to the door."

I sigh in frustration and turn back to the door, cursing inwardly.

"Hi Brooke, to what do I owe this pleasure?" I say with fake cheer as I open the door.

"Can't I just drop by and give my best friend of 20 years an unscheduled visit?"

"Try again." I huff as she pushes past me into the room; I close the door and lean against it.

"I haven't seen you in weeks and I thought I'd come and see you, see how PAX went-"

"Nope. I think what you're trying to say is Seán called you asking you to check up on me."

"It's been three days, can you blame him?" It's a rhetorical question, I know so I don't give her an answer. Choosing instead to cross my arms over my chest and watch as she opens the curtains.

"Okay, you've seen me. I'm okay. You can leave now and tell Seán that he doesn't need to worry. I've not done anything stupid." I frown as she opens a few windows before heading over to my fridge and opening it.

"That's not entirely true, is it? Have you eaten in the past few days?" I bite the inside of my cheek and look down at my feet, refusing to answer. But she seems to understand. You can't be friends with someone for so long and not be able to register their answers in body language. "Didn't think so."

She heads back over to me and pats my shoulder sympathetically.

"Look, I have to go and pick up Rylee from my mother's; I'll be back in an hour. Be ready, I'm taking you out for a couple hours." She walks out and closes the door behind her before I have time to object. I blow air out of my nose, frustrated, and pull the chain across.

Knowing Brooke. She's snagged my key on the walk around my apartment without me noticing. I turn, tempted to get back into bed and I do, sliding under the covers. But it's only ten minutes before I realise she will not leave until she gets me out of my apartment.

Reluctantly, I slide out from under the covers and head over to the bathroom to start getting ready.

* * *

 I glare at my front door as it knocks for the second time today.

Like hell has an hour gone by already.

I stay where I'm sat and a couple minutes after the knock I hear a key being slid into the lock. I watch as the door is pushed open and stopped abruptly by the chain.

"Alayna, what the hell!?" A small smirk graces my lips before I see someone else appear in the gap.

"Ayna?" A small, cheerful voice calls and I stand quickly, walking over to the door and unlatching it.

"Hey, sweetheart. You okay?" I question, squatting down so that I'm at her level. She grins widely and jumps at me, her arms wrapping around my neck in a tight hug.

"Mummy say you no feel well." She mentions, looking from me to her mother. I brush her fringe back out of her eyes and smile sadly.

"Not really, sweetie. But I'll be fine." I sit down on the floor properly and pull over my Chelsea boots, Rylee sits herself down on one of my legs while I slide my boots on.

"We go park?"

"Yeah baby, we're gunna go to the park and you can play while I try and help Alayna feel better, yeah?" Rylee jumps up excitedly and I can't help my small smile at her enthusiasm. I push myself up and pull my coat on before ensuring that I have my purse.

I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone, still switched off from when I came home three days ago. I shove it back into my pocket before holding my hand out, palm up to Brooke expectantly.

"Key, now!" She grins and hands it over to me before pulling me out of the doorway and slamming it behind us. Rylee takes my hand and begins running towards the lifts.

"Ayna, buttons!" I lift her up so that she can press the call button, I watch the numbers above the door climb with something aching to dread. I'm not ready to face the world again yet.

I look at my friend from the corner of my eye and see her looking at me sympathetically. I know she knows how I'm feeling, but we both know if she didn't pull me out of the house, I wouldn't pull myself together in time to return to work on Monday.

The doors open and Rylee runs in excitedly, bouncing to try and press the ground floor button. I take a deep breath to steady myself before stepping into the metal contraption.

* * *

 I watch Rylee run from one thing to another excitedly; to a two year old I guess an old park is exciting. Brooke walks back over to me from the swings and sits down.

"Alright, I think I'm free for a few minutes." She smiles at me and sits back on the cold metal, crossing her legs. I continue to rock the pushchair, Halley now that her stomach's full. "Thanks for feeding her by the way."

"Don't mention it." I say quietly, looking over the now sleeping six month old. "Two year olds need a lot of attention, I get it."

"I can't believe Aiden flaked out on me. I mean, what's more important than your youngest daughter?" I shrug, not really having an answer. He called her while we were on the bus to the park, telling her he needed to go and he needed Brooke to pick Halle up, it was a shitty thing to do.

I'm just proud of Brooke for standing her ground and making him bring Halle to the park on his way back home. He has to pass the park in order to go there anyway.

We sit in silence for a few minutes, me taking the time to breathe in the fresh air as we both watch Rylee run around with a small group of children.

"Anyway, talk to me. What lead to you locking yourself away?" Brooke finally breaks the silence, turning her body towards me to show she's listening but keeping her eyes on her eldest daughter.

"Nothing big, mostly stupid little pathetic things really." I mention. I hear her sigh at my words, taking her eyes from her daughter to look at me in exasperation.

"Nothing about anything is stupid or pathetic if it bothers you, Ally. I keep telling you this."

"Okay then, it's a build up of little things. When time came to go away, I didn't really want to go. You know how I am with big crowds and unfamiliar spaces, America is full of them and I wasn't dealing with it well. Small, petty arguments with Seán over random things, leaving PAX early, not wanting to go out, not wanting to stay out and see a movie. Him password protecting his laptop again, keeping things from me, being overprotective and he brought up, you know."

It's silent for a moment as she mulls over my words, both of us choosing instead to watch Rylee run around. Brooke stands quickly and runs over as we see her fall over.

I watch as she checks over her hands and knees, brushing her hand over them and removing the dirt. She says something to her daughter before smiling and standing up, letting Rylee run back off to play as she walks back over to me.

"Maybe you should start going to see a therapist again?" I can't help wrinkling my nose in distaste of this idea. "Hear me out, okay? After... everything, you only went to see them for a few weeks, two months tops, you didn't really give them a chance. Therapy isn't just a place that you go to where you talk about your problems and that's it, they help you through things, help you figure out coping mechanisms and that's what you need."

I look at her in slight disbelief although part of me does agree with her. "You stress about things, you bottle them up, and small things snowball into big things. You stay quiet about things that bother you and then little things set you off. While it's normal for these things to happen sometimes, having someone who's professionally trained in order to help you with it won't hurt. In fact, it may help you, in time. With a lot of things."

"How long have you been waiting to say these things?" I question, the whole spiel seems rehearsed.

"A couple of weeks, I've been thinking it over since you got extremely upset when I moved that ornament off of the windowsill in your apartment to the bookcase."

"That was because it was there for a reason."

"I know that, Alayna. But it was temporary; I needed to open the window and didn't want to knock it off."

I grumble under my breath and sit back in my seat, arms crossing over my chest grumpily. She doesn't say anything else, knowing that I've got to try and mull over all the thoughts in my head in peace. It's about 20 minutes later when Rylee runs back over, looking tired and a little cold as she tugs on Brooke's sleeve.

"Mummy, food." She sniffles and I reach into my pocket and produce a tissue, I lean over and help her wipe her nose as her mother straps Halle back into her stroller.

"Alright baby, we'll go get some food for you now, okay?" Rylee nods her head, watching as her mother situates her sister in the stroller comfortably. I stand up and Rylee reaches out to take hold of my hand as her mother grips the stroller. "We'll get aunty Alayna some food too, yeah?" I sigh quietly as Brooke smiles at her daughter, knowing that now that she's put the idea into her daughters head, I won't be able to refuse to eat without upsetting the two year old attached to me.

* * *

 I shut the door to my apartment, pulling the chain on and leaning my back against it. As much as I love Brooke and the kids, I'm exhausted from both the socialising and the thoughts circling inside my head.

'She's right though.' I think to myself. 'I should go back to see my therapist.' I rub my hand over my face and pull my phone out of my coat pocket, finally feeling brave enough to switch it back on.

Once the start up screen shows, I throw it onto my bed and pull off my coat. The silence in my apartment now is deafening and I switch the TV on, turning it to a random channel while I change my clothes.

I shrug on one of an old zip-up hoodie that I stole from Seán instead of wearing a shirt and get comfortable in my bed. I reach over and grab my phone, unlocking it and opening my texts, reading through the bunch I have from the man himself.

They mostly just ask me to let him know that I'm okay, that he understands that I need space but he's there if I ever need to talk. He mentions talking to Brooke and that even though I'm not answering, he himself will pop around soon to make sure I'm alright.

Even through text I feel how worried he's been and I begin to feel guilty, I press on the type bar but I'm unsure what to say. The TV continues to drone in the background and I get distracted, realising it's a show that I don't like. I channel surf until I find a show that's decent and let it play before returning most of my attention to my phone, typing out a short reply to him typing out a short reply to him and locking my phone, setting it aside.

_'I'm okay.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:  
> Please, let me know what you think and I hope you won't have to wait as long for Chapter 6.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:   
> I do not own any of the persons based on real people within this story. I do, however, own my OC's.
> 
> Author's Note:  
> Any and all mistakes are mine, and mine alone.

My fingers fiddle with my charm bracelet as my leg bounces up and down uncontrollably and I continuously look between the time on the wall clock and the one on my phone. 

  
_How have I only been sat here a couple minutes?_

  
I flatten my palms against my knees and push down in hopes of stopping the bouncing but it seems to just make it worse. I sigh and rub my hands over my face before they end up in my hair, pulling slightly. 

  
I don't understand why I'm so nervous, it's not like I haven't been here before. I - kind of - know the person behind the door and they know me - or at least, they know what's in my file. 

  
I shake my head to stop myself from falling down that thought trail, I know exactly what's in that file and I'd rather avoid it if I can. 

  
I look back at the clock on the wall and then back to the one on my phone. 

  
Another two minutes have passed.

  
_Why did I get here so early?_

  
It only means I'm stuck here waiting with nothing for company but the thoughts in my head. I should've told someone I was actually coming back; maybe Brooke or Seán would've come with me? 

  
I shake my head again, no. Brooke has the girls to take care of, that's more important than keeping me company and Seán has too much to do with work.

  
_"They're too busy for you!"_   Something sneers inside my head and I bring my knees up to my chest, resting the heels of my feet on the edge of the waiting chair. I wrap my arms around them and rest my forehead on my knees, my fingers instinctively finding my bracelet. 

  
"Lies, if I needed them and asked, they'd help as much as they could." I find myself answering the voice out loud. 

  
_"Are you sure? I mean, who would realise if you just disappeared?"_

  
"Seán would!" There's more force behind my words than necessarily needed considering I'm essentially talking to myself. 

  
_"Really? Where is he? It's been a week since you turned your phone back on and he's yet to come and see you like he said he would!"_

  
"He's busy with work, it's not his fault!" 

  
_"You keep telling yourself that, but you and I know you don't really believe it."_

  
"Shut up!" I can feel the panic welling in my chest and suddenly I want to run away. Leave this room and this building and lock myself back in my apartment. 

  
_"If you were really that important to him, he'd have-"_

  
"Alayna?" I jump as I feel a hand on my shoulder, looking up at the kind face of my therapist. I probably look like a deer in headlights right now. She quickly retracts her hand from my shoulder, clearly remembering how much I value my personal space. "Sorry to scare you, I tried calling from the door but you didn't seem to hear me."

  
"Sorry," my voice is suddenly scratchy so I clear my throat before continuing. "I was stuck in my head." She smiles kindly, stepping back and my eyes immediately fall to the file she holds in her hand. The file containing everything she needs to know about me and my past.

  
"I could tell," She mentions, once again breaking me from my toxic thoughts. "Are you ready to come in?" 

  
I nod my head and uncurl myself from the chair before standing up. I stretch myself out before following her into the room. 

 

* * *

  
I walk down the street quickly, no particular direction in mind, the fresh air helping to calm my beating heart but does nothing else but make me feel cold. I swipe quickly at my cheek as I turn a corner. 

  
I jog up a few steps and knock on the door and once again find myself bouncing nervously as I wait. I take a few deep breathes, trying to calm the tears but it doesn't help, they just seem to fall harder as a lump rises in my throat. 

  
This is why I stopped going! I hate feeling like this afterwards. 

  
The same numbness from a week ago is threatening to wash over my body but I fight it, the wind getting stronger and whipping around me, causing me to shiver from the cold. 

  
The door finally opens as a sob breaks free and I see Seán's smiling face quickly turn into worry. 

  
"Alayna, oh my god! What's wrong? What's happened?" I shake my head, more sobs building in my chest before I fall into his. He wraps his arms around me, guiding me backwards into the apartment enough to close his door and part of me can't help but notice that the coldness I was feeling is fading, fast. 

  
He lets me cry into his chest for a good ten minutes, waiting for me to calm down a little before he pulls away and lifts my chin so he can look into my eyes. 

  
"Hey, c'mon," He begins as I sniff loudly, reaching into my pocket for a tissue to wipe my cheeks and my nose. "Talk to me, please."

  
I stay silent for a few minutes, clearing my throat a few times in the silence. I know I'll have to come clean but I want to put it off for just a little longer. 

  
"Can I have some tea first?" My voice is thick and quiet but he smiles at me sadly, I can tell by the look in his eyes he knows what I'm doing but he doesn't mind so much. "Please?" 

  
"Of course, I'll go see if I still have some of those ones you like so much." He mentions, pressing a small kiss to my forehead before stepping back. "Get comfortable."

 

* * *

 

I stare at the paused TV screen feeling guilty, the voice from earlier having returned to tell me that I'm interrupting Seán.

 

_“He's working. In the middle of a recording and you've pushed yourself in to interrupt with your pathetic problems, again!”_ I groan and let my head fall into my hands; I can hear Seán moving around the kitchen. I try to focus on the sounds he's making instead of the words in my head. _“You just can't help being selfish, can you?”_

 

“Shut up!” I smack my hand against my forehead in frustration and the voice seemingly shrinks back. The sound of a mug being placed on the coffee table startles me and I jump back, falling further into the couch.

 

“Sorry.” he says quietly, looking me over in confusion. “Who’re you speaking too?”

 

“No one.”

 

“Sure, I believe you.” he mentions sarcastically, taking a seat next to me on the couch. I move to a more comfortable position before playing with the charms on my bracelet, it's quiet for a moment and Seán takes the silent cue that this will take a while because he picks up the game controller and unpauses the screen.

 

That voice sneers at me from the back of my head.

 

“I shouldn't have come here, you're working.” I say just to fill the silence between us and shut the voice up. I watch the screen instead of my companion and it pauses quickly after I've finished speaking.

 

“Don't be stupid, Alayna. You're always welcome here. And you're not interrupting, I'm not working, I'm just having some down time.”

 

_“See, I told you.”_ I feel my eye twitch and I pick up the mug of tea and drinking from it to stop myself saying anything in reply to the voice.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah, I tried coming by yours about an hour ago now but your neighbour said you'd gone out.” I can't help the internal smug grin as I once again feel the voice shrink back at being proved wrong.

 

“Yeah, I uh…” my finger trails around the opening of the mug and I don't look away from the screen. “I had an appointment.”

 

“Is that what upset you?”

 

“Kind of.”

 

“What do you mean, ‘kind of’?”

 

I take another sip of the tea and sigh, bringing my free hand up to rub at my eyes. “I had an appointment with my therapist.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah, she feels that maybe I should try going to meet ups with people going through the same thing as me.” I clear my throat, moving the subject from going to what was discussed and to something safer.

 

“And? Are you going to go?”

 

“I told her I'd think about it. But I don't think I will, I don't do well with new people.” It's quiet between us for a while and I take the time to finish my tea. I put the cup down on the table and I feel myself yawn.

 

This day has just exhausted me, mentally and physically.

 

“Did you talk about-?”

 

“Don't.” I cut off sharply before feeling guilty. I don't even know if he was going to ask if I'd talked about _that._

 

“The way things went in America?” he continues anyway, his tone suggesting he's a little annoyed by my action.

 

“We touched on it, didn't really have the time to get into it properly.” He nods his head, settling back on the couch with the controller.

 

It goes quiet again and instead of waiting, Seán goes back to playing his game. I watch the TV screen for a while, the silence between us is nice, neither of us feeling the need to fill it anymore. My eyes begin to droop and I lean my head on Seán's shoulder, it's not long before I feel myself drifting off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

The glow in the room is muted when I finally open my eyes and I notice that's its dark outside, the glow coming from the TV. I see feet perched on the coffee table in front of me and follow them up to the body I'm currently using as a pillow.

 

I shift slightly and yawn, rubbing my eyes as I sit up slowly.

 

“Hey.” I jump a little and turn to face the person I was laying on top of. Seán smiles at me tiredly and I return it with a small one of my own.

 

“Hey.”

 

“You feel any better?” I nod my head and push some hair behind my ear, noticing that he covered me with a blanket at some point.

 

“Yeah, sorry about snapping at you earlier.”

 

“Don’t worry about it. I understand why, I've made a few mistakes with my words over the past couple of days. Just, give me the benefit of the doubt, okay?”

 

“Okay.” We both smile at each other, genuine happy ones this time and he sits up properly before pulling me into a hug.

 

I sink into his embrace, my eyes falling shut as I take a deep breath.

 

“I've missed you.” I murmur quietly into his shoulder.

 

“I've missed you too.” He finally pulls back a few minutes later and a part of me regrets letting him. “Anyway, it's late and I think we could both do with some sleep. You wanna crash here or should I call you a cab?”

 

I check my watch as I fight back tears from my yawn.

 

“Never mind, you can stay here. I'm sure I've got something you can use as pyjamas.” He stands up and pulls me with him and turning off the TV.

 

I follow behind him and stand in the doorway of his bedroom, watching him route through his drawers.

 

“I'm surprised you want to go to bed so early.” I joke as he hands me an old merch t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

 

“What can I say, I like to surprise you.” he grins. I shake my head at him and turn to head down the hall to his bathroom to change. “I had to get rid of your toothbrush by the way, there's spares under the sink.”

 

“Thank you!” I call back before shutting the door.

 

Once I finish changing and cleaning my teeth I head back down the hallway towards the light.

 

His bedroom door is still wide open, which is weird as he usually keeps it closed. I look in to see him surfing through the channels on the TV.

 

“Are you coming to bed, or what?” He questions, not even looking at me and my eyes widen and I stand up fully, stuttering over my reply.

 

“W-what? I thought I'd be sleeping on the couch?!” I don't know why I suddenly feel so much panic considering we've shared a bed countless times over our years of friendship.

 

“Don't be silly, Al. We've shared a bed before.” It's like he's reading my mind. “Plus, the couch isn't all that conformable. Get in.” He tells me, pulling the duvet back.

 

I step inside the room and quietly close the door before padding over to the bed. I suddenly stop and narrow my eyes at him.

 

“What?” He questions but I can see a hint of a smile on his face, so he knows what's coming.

 

“You're on _my_ side of the bed.”

 

“I think you'll find that as I own this bed, they're both _my_ sides of the bed.”

 

“You know what I mean, Seán.”

 

“I do.”

 

“Then move!”

 

“No.”

 

“Seán, move.” I demand, crossing my arms over my chest.

 

“No.” He answers, mimicking my actions.

 

“You don't even like sleeping on that side of the bed.”

 

“I know.” My eyes narrow further before relaxing and I drop my arms, turning back to the door.

 

“Guess I'll go sleep on the couch then.” Suddenly I hear the bed sheets rustling and I turn back, seeing he's moved to his side. I quickly sit down before he changes his mind. “That's what I thought!”

 

I grin happily as I sink down into the bedding. Seán throws the duvet over me quickly and I yelp at the sudden darkness before pulling it down and glaring playfully at him.

 

_“Oops.”_ He tries innocently but I shove him to which he responds by pulling me into another side hug.

 

All fight leaves me instantly and I relax into his arms. I shake my head to remove the weirdness from the situation and pull myself away, getting comfortable against the pillows.

 

“Goodnight, Seán.” I say quietly, not looking at him.

 

“Goodnight, Alayna.” He says back just as quietly before I hear the volume on the TV be turned on slightly. I turn over onto my side quickly and close my eyes, hoping for sleep to come quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:  
> Please, let me know what you think!


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